small Acts Transform the WORLD

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give"

Never did I ever imagine becoming a volunteer. Even less did I imagine my journey would begin  in Hospice. I was always aware that I had an aberrant interest for the dead, and ill so recently I took a step forward and joined hospice care as a volunteer. Yesterday marked the first brick I took down from the wall refraining me from my goal, that wall that always seemed to be taller and taller, and everyday new obstacles make it seem nearly impossible. Even though I have only taken my first step forward, it feels like I am that much closer to meeting my goal. Even though I am nowhere near finishing my career, at least now I have some experience that will make me that much more educated.

“The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.” 

Yeah, books do educate us, and inform us of new discoveries, but life.... Life lets us explore the opportunities that help fabricate who we become the day of tomorrow.  

Day 1: (because of HIPPA no patient information will be mentioned) I was given to attend a patient A, who suffers from the late stages of cerebrovascular degeneration, in Layman's term this is a cognitive diseases which is effected when there is poor circulation of blood to the brain, it usually occurs in the elderly, and there is currently no cure for it. Patient A has been bed ridden for nearly twenty years, and is now only able to consume foods in a liquid form. According to his caregiver, he has days were he is able to sing, and recite poems to her, but there are others (Like my visit) were he is just calmly sleeping.  Sounds intense doesn't it? Well imagine, the reason why I was given this opportunity was because patient A's caregiver feels the need to be accompanied, but who's to blame her, imagine your spouse being bedridden twenty years give or take, and you by there side meeting their every need. 

Mrs. A, is the most genuinely caring person ever, she greeted me with hugs and treated me as if she has known me for a life time. She sat me down, and I just let her express how she felt. Sometimes that's all the human is in need of, a caring shoulder to cry on. Mrs. A does have family, she mentioned she has three children, but unfortunately are unable to be by her side all time. They too have their own family hence, have to attend their jobs in order to keep their lives orderly. She cried momentarily as she began to reminisce about her past. She told me stories about when patient A was in better health. She talked about him as if he were her King. She then explained to me how she feels, even by being by his side all these years, in sickness and in health, that she still hasn't met her dues with him. She described who he is as being the perfect man. She felt that he deserved for her to go to the other side of the world and back for him, just by the way he has always treated her and their children. Consider this day and age it is hard to even sustain a relationship not ending in divorce, so kudos to them for making it over thirty years together. 

While being there, we talked about almost everything, but I noticed her greatest concern was to enlighten us on how important it is for people to be admirable to others. When one treats you repugnant, instead of showing the same actions, be the bigger one and just show them acts of amorousness, and you will see how they too will change. I guess the bigger picture is that in order to transform the world, it begins with just one person. If there is one thing I can say, is that by just going one day, she has already began to make an impact in my life, for some peculiar reason when I speak to her whether it is on the phone, or in person, she makes me want to become a better person, I don't quiet understand why this occurs... but I am definitely looking forward to see what will become of me. I guess that's the gift of giving. No matter how it is you give, God always rewards you; may not be monetary or a physical gift but God hands you what you need.  Who knows maybe our meeting wasn't a coincidence, maybe there is a reason to this madness. 

Not All Who Wander Are LOST

Okay, so let me commence by saying YES! I do believe in mermaids, and yes I try to spawn my life to that of a fairytale, but REALITY check? Life isn't always rainbow and butterflies; life is full of surprises that are made for us to unravel. So who's to say mermaids, and fairy tales don't exist? Aside from my keen imagination, I can assure you, I have a good head on my shoulder. My expectations are exceeding considering my fairytale consist of being head physician of a pediatric oncology team, having multiple sports cars, and living with the love of my life, and of course owning multiple homes, but residing along the coast of the south Florida.

"Not all who wander are lost"
Although my goals seem unattainable, there is one thing I can live assured of and that is, that I have already reached one of the milestones to living the perfect fairytale. I have found my prince. NO! I did not kiss a frog, and he instantaneously transformed into a prince, and no I did not have a fairy God-Mother to grant me my wish, but what I did have was HOPE. Hope, that someday I'd meet someone with interest in a girl like me, a girl who has more on her head then what her plans for the following weekend would be, or a posy of friends to increase my social life; a girl who was more concerned about her future, who had aspirations to becoming something more then just another statistics.  I am a girl, who besides having a meticulous lifestyle, with parents who want to rule everything, I am a girl going somewhere, I was just in need of meeting someone who would stand by my side every step of the way. (AS MENTIONED IN THE PREVIOUS POST, I DID MEET THIS PERSON) he goes by the name of Jared. The love of my life, who aides me in any guidance I need, who has put up with the rigorous lifestyle I live and most of all who has accepted me as who I am. For once I feel at ease with my self, and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I no longer have to hide behind a face full of make-up or behind my books. I am free! I am no longer lost, searching for the perfect man. The man who I can picture seeing tomorrow, the following week, in the next six months, in the next ten years, and even a century from now. He is the one I can see at my graduate school graduation, the one I could see walking down the isle, and the one I can definitely see myself growing old with, hence being the man I have in my fairytale.


Tonight was an interesting night, I learned that no one, not even your number one supporter is going to stop their life for you, therefore you have to help yourself before you can lend a helping hand. Jared said these words "You have to work today, for tomorrow's future" at first it just seemed like that was an inspirational quote he read today and felt like using it within the context of our conversation; but after he left I realized what the meaning was, that is that you have to work hard now for tomorrow which is the future. No one else is going to work today for your future tomorrow, tomorrow is what YOU make of it. This leading me to tonight's post.

Lately I have been feeling stressed and dazzled by the idea of going to med school. Senior year in college is almost coming to an end and the beginning of a new milestone is soon to approach. I feel like a vagabond, who isn't quiet sure where the "yellow brick road" leads to. Feeling as if maybe I should of aimed for subordinate goals, which required less time and effort to attain. Maybe my expectations exceed what I am capable of? Maybe I am not cut out for medical school? How can I expect to make it to the finish line, if I am not willing to take that step forward? These are all the thoughts that constantly run in my head, making it hard to be cognizant as to where I will end up.

With all this said I like to say thank you to the love of my life, for being so hoarse and helping me understand what life is really about. For showing me that lives greatest challenges don't just happen, we have to work for them. Therefore, I thank you babes for making it lucid that I can't expect to be found if I don't create a path to follow.

As for now, I am a princess with a prince, building the path to my future, it may not seem like my accomplishments are much, but they're the stepping stones to helping me be found. I may be a wanderer but I am definitely not lost.

Not All Treasure is Silver & Gold

In our lifetime, we go about defining our "treasures" as those items that we value. Usually treasures are those with some standard of high monetary value. I for one, have a totally different meaning to the word, and consider myself one of the wealthiest human beings on this planet. No! I am not related to Bill Gates, nor am I anywhere on his family tree, like the average college student, I too have tuition to pay, expenses (car, gas, insurance, phone, etc), and responsibilities to take care of, and yes I am aided by my parents but thats why I am the most opulent girl. What makes me so well off is the support system I have. " Not all TREASURE is silver and gold"

Fortunately, I have some astonishing people in my life. People I can sincerely say value more then silver and gold. For one, I have a pretty awesome family, despite their flaws, they are my number one supporters. We have our fair share of disputes, and we don't always seem to get along, but we always know how to settle the differences amongst each other. They may not be the most functional family, or reasonable, but they are FAMILY, and sometimes we are given certain people in our lives for a reason, although the reason seems unclear, they serve a purpose. If there is one thing I am assure of, is that without this family, I wouldn't be the women I am today. Nor would I ever accomplished 1/2 of the things I have accomplished.

Then comes my other half..... we went from being complete strangers one day, to soul mates in the next. Our story does seem a lot like a Nicholas Spark novel. The storyline was small town girl, meets a small town boy. Small town boy is your typical well known, where as the girl is an outcast. Both went to the same schools since elementary school and never crossed each others path. The girl then makes a friend who one can consider as being a "bad seed" or a "rotten apple" who was dating the well known boy. He instantaneously caught her eye, but he paid her no attention, he was too distracted by the "rotten apples" promiscuity. After their first meeting, they met a few more times after that, and then just went separate ways. Outcast girl went about living her life, attended university, tutored at the small town cafe "starbucks" and never thought about their encounter. She eventually slowly got rid of the "rotten apple" as she had nothing positive coming her way, she didn't really have much to offer in a friendship. Considering we are in the 21st century and technology pretty much rules everything, I would post photos via social network Instagram. Eventually this social network opened up to providing users a method to converse, and little did they know but this well known guy and I had each other as friends. One day, I received a message from this guy, and my heart began to pump, my brain was malfunctioning as if there was a mis-wiring of neurons, and I just wasn't sure if he was aware of who he had written to. So I replied, confused. Surely he was aware of who I was but he wanted to get to know who I really was,  he wanted to know more then just the name to the face of one of his followers.

As time passed, we spoke more and more, he would surprise me at starbucks when I would go to tutor or study. We would go for talks at the park, or to long board down parking garages, if not just sit in the car and have long conversation about anything. Even though we were strangers, I felt this comfort, as if I had met him before (maybe in another life?) I wasn't sure, what about him I enjoyed most, his company or his warm heartiness, but one thing I was sure of was that he made me feel complete. Time progressed and we began to socialize more, we met each others families, and now we are were we are. Going to two years, and stronger then ever. And this my friend is the story of how we met.  He is by far one of the greatest TREASURES I have ever had, and for that reason I hold on to him for dear life. Of course we do have our ups and downs, but then again who doesn't those who say they're relationships are all UP's are LIARS! Because even the most perfect relationship has flaws, and it is from those flaws that the relationship grows.

....and of course then we have my friends, although I don't have many, and I am not popular nor have those intentions to be, I can truly say I have the rarest friends a girl can ask. We may not talk on an every day basis, nor have weekend after weekend of activities together, HECK we see each other on special occasions, but no matter what we each take care of one another. In all this I include my newest friend who I met at the university I attend she is like my long lost sister. We are able to communicate efficiently, yet to have found any discrepancies, and most of all we have common goals.  She too can be included in my circle of friends who I TREASURE THE MOST!!


There you have it, my TREASURES.... hence making me the WEALTHIEST, & most LUCKIEST girl on planet Earth.





Sincerely,

Niccole M. Liriano